3 Spiritual Relationship Pillars That Changed My Life

I rode the struggle bus in my relationship with God and with others for a long time. There were some things I thought I had figured out, and some detrimental things I was seriously missing! I established three pillars along the way that revived my faith and changed my WHOLE life around during a season of feeling left out, lonely, and even angry with God over the things I didn't understand. It touched every area of my ministry, not only revived but even grew my relationship with God to new heights, and even instilled abilities in me I didn't have before- like learning how to make and sustain friendships.

Today, I want to impart that blessing to you. So I'm sharing these three simple yet necessary foundational pillars that will strengthen you, elevate you, and bless you in ways you maybe didn't even know you needed.

Pillar one: Find Someone Who Knows Their Theology

1 Timothy 4:16 says "Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and those who hear you."

I have nothing against those who don't have a college degree when I say this, but for your own sake, I'm suggesting that find someone with an actual theology degree. Find the bible students in your church, a nearby bible college, etc., and make them your friend! You can rely on wisdom from friends for some things, but other times there are deep questions you’ll have, like why God allows suffering in our lives, why horrible things happen, etc., and you don’t need opinions and theories- you need someone who knows the Bible like the back of their hand for that.

Make a friend ASAP who can actually talk to you about deep biblical theology. Making this a priority pillar in your life will CHANGE. THE. GAME.

Having that doctrine available (and not the kind you’ll find on YouTube) will save you from a LOAD of doubt in the future, when floods and sufferings come your way (as Jesus promised they would), and will help to not only preserve but to grow your relationship and experiences with God on biblical level.

Make a list today- yup, today- of any questions about the Bible or certain experiences you've faced, and then pray and ask God to help you find people who will help answer these questions with you. These people will be your friends for life. They will love pouring into you and your head/heart might explode (in a good way) from all of the amazing, life-changing things you didn't know you needed to learn.

Your pastor is probably more than willing to help you, but I would encourage going elsewhere, particularly to Bible College Students or professors. Pastors are pastors who shepherd the flock and have a lot on their plate usually, but what we're going for here is an ongoing, everyday friendship with someone who has the time and passion to pour into you all that they've learned.

And trust me, those people are out there. My Bible College friends come to me all the time with exceeding joy telling em about how they got to minister to someone today. They LOVE when you ask questions, and for them, it's an honor and a move of God in their own life, when you walk into theirs and begin asking questions.

Pillar Two: Find a Spiritual Mentor.

In Titus 2, scripture explains the prerequisite to female and male mentors, and how to categorize them: “young women with older women, and young men with older men." God knew there was something ideal and necessary about mentorship for young people! And ya'll... God didn't get it wrong!

A lot of people will tell you it has to happen “organically.” If you could see me right now, i just cringed and facepalmed at that statement.

That is just w r o n g.

I waited years for something to happen “organically” and it never did, because sometimes God is waiting for YOU to step out and make the first move in faith. Active faith that God has a spiritual mentor for you means searching for one! Go visit a different church for a weekend or two and look for one, if you really don’t have one at your small church. Ask the older lady who’s always quiet but seems to have a lot of wisdom and a successful marriage. ASK ladies. What I’m saying is, don’t let anything stop you. And don't - I repeat- DON'T lower your standard. I want you to find the best of the best spiritual mentor you could ever imagine. Do to the bible college down the road, (who cares if you don't go?) and ask the deans wife. Ask the pastors wife of the huge church and don't tell yourself she "already has a lot on her plate." You are a blessing to whoever mentors you, and that's a truth that doesn't get said enough. These women are waiting for a girl like you to come into their life and bring joy, and invigorate their purpose. Discipleship is any adults priority before anything else, because God said so. "Go.. and make disciples" Was God's great commission for us. You are not a problem, an inconvenience, etc. You are God's daughter. And the bright future you have ahead of you will not be obtained without some solid mentors. Know your worth and look for the best of the best with faith that Jesus loves you enough to provide.

Jesus told us "ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) Daughter, Jesus wants to bless you with these things! It's up to you to decide if you're going to chase after it.

Pillar Three: Make time for Fun

Like I said at the beginning, this is simple and easy, but necessary. Set aside a specific day and time each week to do something fun-, preferably a consistent day each week. And use that time, hour, or day to do something that you’ve always wanted to do- like hiking, swimming, kayaking, climbing a dang tree, whatever.

God wants us to be joyful people, and if we work work work work work we’ll be tired tired tired tired tired. God has lots in store for your life, but until you learn to rest and have fun, God can't elevate you into those things- simply because he loves you too much to see you absolutely exhausted and see all of your joy stripped form you. God things and good things can become a very bitter taste to us over time when we aren't making time to have fun. It may seem paradoxical to us, but Christ will only give you the platform you seek, when you learn to lay everything down and just have fun. Learn the art of letting go and being free from responsibilities every now and then. Jesus didn't make you to work all the time, and he's not interested in just using you like a robot or a mechanic. He made you for relationship and authentic experiences. He delights in your successes in the work field, but he also delights in seeing a smile scatter across your face when you feel like a child again. He delights in you sticking your head out the window as the wind blows through every counted hair on your head. He delights in YOU, but if you'll allow yourself to have fun, you'll begin to delight in Him too.

These days are also a great opportunity to invite new people from your community, church, etc., and make more friends. If you’re consistent about this it will change the game in your relationships, your joy, and your strength. The Bible says “the joy of the Lord is our strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10) And when we make time to experience simple joy, we’re making time to strengthen our spirits so we can go out into the next week and conquer the world around us.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)

Jesus wants to bless you with all of these things, and His word reveals that these pillars are his will for your life. Remember, all of these people are out there, waiting for you to find them. Your presence in their life is going to bless them as much as it will you. And I'm confident that, when you establish these pillars for yourself, God will begin pouring out more blessings over you because you will be expanding your ability receive and steward them!

Love always,

Your sis.